In my love life, I am an independent person. I may have a breakdown from time to time, but I'll be back on my feet and brush the feeling off my shoulder in no time. Loneliness and individuality are the two elements that a youngster should pride, but not many realise that. When I question my feelings, I could hear nothing. No racing, no pumping - I can live this way in a long time. I am not vulnerable.

But in every independent person, there's always a story behind it.

Mine happened even when I was small. A tint of desire to be out there own my own, roaming the streets with my head held up high on my two feet without my parents supporting me. It can often be quite scary. But it's a nice feeling. That's half of the story.

Tracing back to my past, it happened earlier than everyone else.
~~~~~

I am 10 years old. It's quite an environment actually, being in a new school. SKJB isn't it? I needed the exposure anyway. I wonder if my friends back in SK Agama would think about me. I wonder if they realise the real truth, the reason why I agreed to move anyway. I wanted to protect my cousin. But I didn't feel like it's time to spill it to anyone. Not in a few years at least.

Cikgu Irene shifted our seats. Meeting new people had always made me as nervous as ever. I am to be seated next to this boy. He has thick black hair, a bit chubby but clean. Great, being next to boys isn't my thing. I feel insecure, and I talk to girls better.

Eventually, we started talking. About transformers, about cartoons. I talk to him in monotone, but at least we are getting on well. Sometimes I felt my lips cracking, but I kept my eyes on him as he set them on me, grinning. He's a good friend. Then he told me, that he liked this girl in the next class, called Marianne or something.

Rumour flies around quite quickly. He likes me, He doesn't like me. It only made it awkward between us. I never liked him in that way, it's alright. But the further we are apart, the more I begin to accept and eventually, begin to like him in the way. But who am I to say that I know that feeling anyway?

It's been off for awhile. But one day, as we were walkign to our class, he told me that he's going to move to Kuala Lumpur. The Capital, awesome. But by this time, we didn't communicate much. So he just packed his back and went in the holidays. We never spoke a word. In the next school year, he's not in our class list.