Bitter

I woke up fresh and early, and greeted a weekend morning with a smile. Everyone's asleep, so I got up and freshen myself. I did numerous house chores which I never paid attention to, while looking forward to a checklist of homework to finish by noon. It's a good feeling to be the only one roaming around the sun-brighted house, with the others staying dormant in their curtain-closed dark rooms. On my study table, everything was kept in place the right way for once. Starting on my physics homework seems a piece of cake, and the second I knew it, I was on to my chemistry questions.

It was until then, they woke up. I settled in my seat a little bit uncomfortably.
When I was called down for a second breakfast offering, it turned tables.
And the biggest mistake was when I agreed to come along.

I watched in horror, the situation turning from bad to rotten. The earphone plugged on my left ear is my only hope to bring me to the light I've been in. Hopeless, it never cease to freeze the situation. No chance of slipping anywhere else. I shouldn't even be biting my nails. It was someone else's worry, but I was pulled into it without intentions.

I washed the plates and went up, back to the desk where I have left my homework books open. The place was disturbingly clean and kept organise. I dipped into where I had left off with the questions, but they were just appear like a block of words waiting to be over and done with - and shelved away. I was sloppy and slow, with my work now. The sense of independance was lost somewhere in the far reaches fo the stars. Words from the discussion flooded my head instead... "far from development from your friends.." "inefficient" "not improving..." degraging! Stop this madness!

They are just humans! Stand on your own two feet, your flow of thoughts are precious! Only you can change you if you want it! When are you going to depend on you?

Somewhere in the distant memory, I was taught as a kid to follow straight with the black and white rules, or it meant deep trouble. It's ridiculous, having to live with the habit all these years.
It's the only talent I am missing from when I put myself with my other friends.

Shitbrix

Anything can happen in a few months.
You can call yourself single and proud,
standing on your own two shoes,
but have a phase with a bastard.

Anything can happen in a few weeks,
All of those around you have highlight topics of life on their own,
and they don't need you.
Or at least you don't think,
because you're too bobbed down with you.

Anything can happen in a few days,
You can feel ups and downs and turn arounds,
like riding a roller coaster,
and how bad is it to know,
that there's no one in that empty seat beside you.

Anything can happen in one night.
But when you dream about Chemistry...





...I wish I could remember my invented theory thought to revolutionise science.
Been wondering about it all day. ):

Boundaries are meant to be broken

It's amazing how one comment- one demotivating comment that makes you feel small can make you realise that your worth more than just where you are. It drives you to the edge, put you on the spot of the actuality of your capabilities, and sometimes - your potential outward.

It's the kind of thing I need. One strong comment or memory, that is not too demotivating - but enough for me to realise that I am not pushing it. It's the only thing that got me where I am now. I was silly enough to forget that until today.

In Art, all she ever said was, " Oh, yes you are well not up to date". Then poof, I thirst for progress. My ipod on full blast, inspirations come as easy as rain. It all just falls into place.

Don't you feel the same way?