Bitter

I woke up fresh and early, and greeted a weekend morning with a smile. Everyone's asleep, so I got up and freshen myself. I did numerous house chores which I never paid attention to, while looking forward to a checklist of homework to finish by noon. It's a good feeling to be the only one roaming around the sun-brighted house, with the others staying dormant in their curtain-closed dark rooms. On my study table, everything was kept in place the right way for once. Starting on my physics homework seems a piece of cake, and the second I knew it, I was on to my chemistry questions.

It was until then, they woke up. I settled in my seat a little bit uncomfortably.
When I was called down for a second breakfast offering, it turned tables.
And the biggest mistake was when I agreed to come along.

I watched in horror, the situation turning from bad to rotten. The earphone plugged on my left ear is my only hope to bring me to the light I've been in. Hopeless, it never cease to freeze the situation. No chance of slipping anywhere else. I shouldn't even be biting my nails. It was someone else's worry, but I was pulled into it without intentions.

I washed the plates and went up, back to the desk where I have left my homework books open. The place was disturbingly clean and kept organise. I dipped into where I had left off with the questions, but they were just appear like a block of words waiting to be over and done with - and shelved away. I was sloppy and slow, with my work now. The sense of independance was lost somewhere in the far reaches fo the stars. Words from the discussion flooded my head instead... "far from development from your friends.." "inefficient" "not improving..." degraging! Stop this madness!

They are just humans! Stand on your own two feet, your flow of thoughts are precious! Only you can change you if you want it! When are you going to depend on you?

Somewhere in the distant memory, I was taught as a kid to follow straight with the black and white rules, or it meant deep trouble. It's ridiculous, having to live with the habit all these years.
It's the only talent I am missing from when I put myself with my other friends.