Alien between two

Me and this girl, we were sort of walking all the way up the hill after school. And I felt suddenly like it was just as it was before. But I knew I had to be careful. They are not for long though.

We went to the Tuck shop and all and after we bought our things, and hung out in the baking sun instead of the freaking shades. Out in the freaking baking middle-eastern sun and boy, was I sweating. I was sucking the life of my chocolate milk for it to cool me but it did not obviously helped. I stayed around there because we were in this circle, where we talked and jiggled and roar with laughter. Well, I was anyway, I stopped and became sane. I did not laughed along, instead I had forced myself to neglect, by standing in the pathway shaded by trees beside the girl's toilet, which is not far. And then I waited, just standing there. I figured if any of them cared, they would come along. I waited 5 minutes in front of them four and none came. I was depressed like mad, that I'd just want to walk off, but that would be nasty on them. They eventually came to me though, making physical jokes and stuff in the shade with me, but I did not get absorbed in that so much. I was not in the mood, but I did though, because I never would totally ditch anyone like that. It makes me a coward.

When I figured we were late by my sister who's effortlessly telling me we are, because she wants to stay for the 3pm ride home with Sammy. I ran up like mad, all the way up to the entrance, not even giving a hug goodbye to Veronica like I would usually do. I just didn't care and I felt a bit of fury. Sammy let out wails of staying back till three, convincing me adn sasha. Well, probably sasha, but me out of curtosy. I ran all the emotions out, I just didn't give a penny and it was last straw.

I came up just in time, the others still behind, and Zahura looking for us with the driver bursting his bubble like mad. Well he doesn't look mad, he's aaalways smiling, btu you could tell he is mad if you'v done something wrong and he's smiling at you like mad. Sasha and Sammy were behind, not even running though. They wanted to stay no doubt but I rushed them. I felt sorta bad afterwards, but I didn't feel like talking to them. Neither of them.

Sasha's just obsessed over Sammy. She slept on the pillow Sammy used when she slept over, and she cuddled the dog plushie that Sam had written all over and brought to school everyday. I am just wierded out, I mean, what would you feel? I've known Sammy since Year 10, it's alright, and then Year 11 came along we were closer. She called me one of her best friends. She started hanging with us, me and my sister a lot and having sleepovers and stuff. Sasha and her had shared an interest in anime and all of the sudden she became obsessed over the friend you knew. After that, they had appointments. Appointments with each other everyday after school to watch these episodes on Youtube. My sister sortof sacrificed out lunch together for that, I ended up cooking lunch and eating it on my own. It doesn't take a genius that them two became closer than ever. Closer than me, but only dragged me along for the curtosy. No one wants to admit it, but you could tell - I mean I didn't have much things to talk to her about anymore. Not as much as they do with each other because they share the same interest. No problem, of course, I didn't mind it. Maybe it's punishment, you know.

But the thing that wierded me all out is that thing I've sortof felt when I first heard my sister is going to repeat her year. When she's going to sit in my year. That sort of feeling came back when I imagined my sister blending with my personal social group. And I was very particular ya know, about posessions sometimes. And it sort of wierded me out. Maybe because I was afraid - am afraid - that my sister would be better than me. That I'll make such a slob, and because we sortof look like each other, she would be the preferred other. Just my fear of being alone again - in that lonesome tower.

So I sortof have to bear with it, whenever she comes over with my sister and I know that they've been hanging out a lot and better. I'd be there just minding my own business sometimes when they watch their Animes, talking alien. I'd be alien sometimes. It's just a matter of time anyway, to kill this selfish and possessive personality of mine.

It makes me depressed though, that it kills my confidence and physical posture. That might be the cause of my jaw disorder... Perhaps.