I was falling, when I personally thought I was Headsteady forwards : English, you take me by surprise.

What would you do if you are caught in between two different education systems?

I had my fair share of experience. It was a bright sunny day, and my first year in an international school and of course I was more or less nervous of everything for the first few months. I was being extremely careful with my work, I did not know how to get along well with anyone yet, and spent break times often in the library.

Fortunately enough, all of my living sorrows fades off and I gain more friends and scare my culture shocks away. I have earned equal recognitions in my subjects like my skills in art, my dedication in History and as such. Teachers never really had a problem with me. Soon enough, I was moved to the highest English set, because of my potential. But that's when it all begun.

I've always had been one of the few students who create wonders to scoring high marks in my local schools, never failing my teacher's great expectations. At least until it happened. In my hands, written in bloodshot red, was my first 'D' in an English Paper. I chucked it straight into the bin, 'a mere practice paper'. I thought and it was. What I did not notice was that all my confidence that I had built up during these past few years had been chucked away with it. It results in failure and desperation. Finally, as I received my SATS results, It's not much of a surprise to see that I have gotten a level 6. 'Maybe it's a blessing in disguise', I thought optimistically, 'Maybe now I will move down a set or two in English to be compatible with the other students who are the same level as I am, and build my confidence there'.

Deja vu cursed me for another year round of the same thing. I was pleasantly surprise to hear my name getting called out in the listed of students in the highest top set for English. Pleasantly surprised, yet horrified. Interlocked between two brave options, I decided that could not do anything, but to adapt and try my very best.

I tried my best, but I was slipping and tumbling all the while. My greatest effort only boosted me to solid B, which is all I can get, but that is not satisfying enough. Everyday I was traumatised by the eary sounds of good English. Of creative opinions, and spot-on answers. I became jealous too, but I gave up trying too hard in the middle of it - as I keep letting my guards down. I staggered to this day, at the thought of English classes... and what my parents did, in the parents teachers evening one day, they had summoned the knights and saved my life from my endless bickerings.

They had suggested me taking the iGCSE course whilst still running with my GCSE course to not let all of last year's in waste. iGCSE, was profoundly and amazingly JUST LIKE what I did in Malaysia! I was home, and all of a sudden, all the confidence that I have lost a year or two ago came rushing in to me while I did my iGCSE practice paper.

I am not taking A Levels for English, that is for certain. But no matter the things I have planned for next academic year, I still have to take both English exams...

..and here I stand, my swords sharpened, no white knights. Just me against the earthly beast that slithers towards me with its frightening sharp slick scales - my own enemy. My own fears. My own victory.